Saturday, October 29, 2011

Facebook: An Additive Towards Idiocracy

Hello, Blogger. First of all, I do not plan on jotting down my bitching each rise and fall of the sun. However, if an aspect of my day happens to prance by my face with gitty joy and I stare back with a look of violence, I will take it out on this blank page. As you can already notice, my topic will be of Facebook and its large inhabitants of misusers.

Facebook started off as an easy convenient source of staying in touch with fellow friends and family. Once attention deprived douchebags realized that this site could actually be used for merry making in a well mannered  fashion, they immediately pillaged and raped all the decency out of it, until many ended up deleting their own accounts, in result. Their numbers are now quickly spreading throughout the cyber world, while few ethical refugees stand their ground with mortality and self dignity.

Though have no fear, if you truly take pride in your posts that do not consist of the following:
.Calling people niggas
.Calling people fuckers
.Calling people bitches (seriously, don't be a bitch)
.Calling out for attention
.Calling other people out ( for physical communication)
.Calling yourself  "swag"
.Calling others "swag"
.Calling your dog "swag"
.Calling your day "swag"
.Calling anything "swag" (including the list above) -
Then you are not contributing to the problem, rather doing your modest part in fixing it.

People who do partake in this parasitic way of using Facebook, please do not take into offense; I just do not think it is quite swag of you.

B.M.H.C

Friday, October 28, 2011

The "M" Word

Good evening, Blogger. Its Friday, October 28 and this will be my latest post since...Well,quite some time. When I last left your good company, I informed you that I hadn't been feeling quite all too righteous. This unknown inner apparition turned out to be quite legitimate,however. Upon further investigation, doctor appointments, Google searching, and enough blood work to fill a large plastic pool, it was apparent that I have been infected with mono-tuberculosis (mono, for the people who search for the quick way out). The kissing disease,is what they have tagged it, which I suppose is fitting, because, as they say, LOVE hurts.... 


Being that I began...well, I should say... CEASED feeling natural,since around the time I began using Blogger, I believe its safe to say that I've carried Mono for at least 9 or more months. Now, for those who have not felt the undesirable wrath of the Epstien-Bar virus, its many life sucking symptoms may include the following:
.Women run in fear.
.Babies crying.
.Costco closes its door, forever.
.All food that touches your lips turns to ash.
.Justin Bieber becomes dictator of Nicaragua, with the help of an army of insane post-puberty little girls.
.Attractiveness begins to take form of a white decrepit dog turd.
.And lastly.... you feel like shiiiit!
               *Facts extracted from WebMD


Though these indications may seem far fetched, those who have acquired this illness would say nothing to sugar coat it for the feared.
Mono's much more distinctive symptoms have now yet subsided, with the thanks of 500 doses of Night & Day Quil,however it seems as if they were just the calm before the storm. In result, I have developed Chronic fatigue syndrome(yes, another large word) and its symptoms include:
.Loss of Joy
.Loss of energy
.Loss of appreciation for the little things
.Loss of enthusiasm
.Loss of motivation
.Loss of reason to wake each morning
.Loss of faith, once you have bargained your soul to the devi in order to have your body return to its normal condition. 


Besides the last standard(maybe, muahahahaha!!), these are quite true. No,i'm not how you silly unimaginative gents say,Emo.... But, excuse me for not bringing sunshine, ponies,rainbows, and ponies shitting out rainbows to the table. I understand how most of you may think that my nature is some what over melodramatic, however, there is another story in which may include the reason for my more than necessary doom and gloom outlook on my predicament;nevertheless, it is not an anecdote I wish to tell. 


On a brighter far more positive note, my day to day routines have long since returned, due to the end of summer vacation. I find it funny, how often one might say school swallows our time, lives, and souls, but once we are given back our freedom we haven't the slightest clue as in what to do. This statement can be supported, by the hundreds of Facebook posts, consisting of the monotonous phrase,"Sooo Fucking bored.", along with many other variations. I presume that this is just another one of life's more idiotic ironies. 


I believe my piece has been said. Thank you for your time and patience, Blogger. Your a true and true friend. XoXo.  




B.M.C.H